it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
