That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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