Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
