I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
