It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
