New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
How's work?
Spinning.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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