I'm drive I can fine osifer
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
