I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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