you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
