What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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