A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
he puts the penis in happiness.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I deserve this hangover.
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