I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
