is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
there was a trapeze. enough said
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Randomize
