We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
