either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
