The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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