No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
