it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
