she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
