Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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