IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
