he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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