Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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