I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
