The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
