Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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