ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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