never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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