I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
