I accidentally had phone sex last night
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
vagina is talking i cant
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
