Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
