dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
