she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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