found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize