Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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