Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
