I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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