It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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