I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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