She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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