He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
