I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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