like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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