He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
