This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
