is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize