Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
