drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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