Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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