Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
She needs sedatives and a leash
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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