if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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