I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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