She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
