It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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