My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize